Sunny Breaks

Meet the Greys if you already haven’t.
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There’s not too much to say about them other than they don’t like you. They want to drill tiny, perfectly cylindrical holes in your teeth so things like MP3 players can be inserted there.
It’s entirely possible, dear reader, that they will do this to you tonight while you are asleep. The chances of this happening were much greater before March.

Meet the Blues.
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The Blues are shorter and they work for the Greys.
Before March the first bullet point on a typical Blue’s job description was:

• transport humans to and from flying saucer

because that’s where the Grey’s did their work.
The Blues were getting back injuries at an alarming rate -slipped disks, hernias- because of all the lifting. Lucky for them, they took the matter to an industrial arbitration commision which decided that if the Greys wanted to continue their dental work, they had to perform it on the spot.
This was bad news for the Greys. It slowed down the project considerably.

Just added to archives. From 4 years ago.

One fine morning while wandering around down near the Jordan river jesus came upon a tree. It was christmas holidays so there was no school and jesus, who was 14 at the time, was bored and I mean really bored. He had his tomahawk with him and decided it would be some pretty fuckin’ good fun to chop the tree down. He dragged it back home with the intention of using it to whittle with since whittling was something of a hobby of his. Later on in life this tendency would transmogrify and blow out to a full-time penchant for carpentry—house frames, staircases – that sort of thing.

When jesus entered the living room with the pine tree in tow his whole extended family stared at him slack-jawed and dumb-founded.
“Jesus! That was one of only 7 trees… in the country which this is.”
Jesus looked on at his father but said nothing.
“Oh but wait, you’re jesus—so anything you do is okay.”
{BEAT}
Everyone laughed and then they ate pudding.

Insert description of lair – important bits – low mezzanine with dodgey wooden ramp leading up it, leadlight windows, tesla coils, lots of shelves with easily knocked over stuff on.
Dexter gasped and covered his mouth.
“What is it?’ asked Conray.
”A DNA resequencer. Goodness knows what monsterous creations they’ve been remoulding.“
Conray climbed up to take a look.
”Nah.“
”What?“
”That’s a drum sequencer. Here, look – phat squeaky breaks“, he read a penned and sticky-taped down label positioned over a button. Vulcan Conray pressed it. A cacophony of absurdly unrhythmic percussion exploded from speakers here and there.
Conray, digging it, swung his arm and clicked his fingers slow and steady. Poindexter looked on in horror, ”mosterous creations” he murmured again.

1974 Mirages and hovercraft shaped like waffles streak over the horizonfrom the east. Spume, fume and plume. Metallic red, sharp outlines andshown from obtuse angles. Reach New York. The bombardier wearinglederhosen and octagonal glasses frames pulls the lever releasingthe payload
14 MEGATONNES
high grade
self propelled
66% cocoa liquid gushed through the canyons covering everything. Ladiesand gentlemen TheChocolate Makers have spoken.
Unexpected was that, for the rest of the week racism died. No one could tell who was what – everyone a smooth mmm-mmm dark brown.

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Comments
Jon
url: Core
date: 2003-08-07-01-54
Too verbose – the average citizen will have driven past the sign =)

yak sox
date: 2003-08-07-02-01
ahprobably. i was thinking in mall shop windows.(kimi_raikkonen)

Dexter Poindexter: “why? what did they leave?”
Vulcan Conray: “It was all over the doorstep — a crappy briefcase satched in petrol, a plastic bottle filled with more petrol inside it, boxes of matches ripped open, a pig’s head, some rope, a blank bereavement card, a brick …and an 8” by 10“ glossy signed fotograph of Ricky Martin.”
Dexter Poindexter: “Oh! That might be worth something.”
Vulcan Conray: “Nah. One of those laser-printer signature jobs.”

Visit a hardware store and buy yourself a large spanner. – Put it in your lunchbox and take it to work with you. If it doesn’t fit in your lunchbox then perhaps you need to reassess whether your getting enough lunch. – When at work locate The Machines (also known as ‘The Works’) and insert your large spanner into them in a vigorous manner. If you are having trouble locating The Machines then look harder, or ask a co-worker.