Why ‘the man with the golden gun’ is probably my fave bond movie:

What a piece of work. I say favourite in the sense that it’s already become an artefact and could be seen as the exemplar of ‘Bond’. —
– 007 style sexism rampant throughout
– a level of cultural insensitivity I don’t think we’ll ever get back to.
– character names: Chu Me, High Fat and Miss Goodnight.

Kooky: Lee

– several safari suits and safari style shirts
– Roger Moore — the trashiest of all the bonds
– The main baddy, played by Christopher Lee, was more kooky than threatening or scary
– Knick-Knack -> thee GoTo midget when you need good midget acting action. (aside: why don’t more midgets become actors? Everyone would be happier if they did.)
– a really dippy attempt at a trippy ’60s ‘The Prisoner’ style set, 4 years after the ’60s had ended
– some of the lamest martial arts scenes I’ve ever seen
– Eurovison winner, Lulu, singing the theme song
– some pretty nifty bits in the score
– that cork-screw jump car stunt
– one really obnoxious Lousianian tourist

more news at eleven

I mentioned last year how the channel ten weather guy, mike larkan, often does the roaming around bit popping up here and there to do the weather.

Well he’s still out there and I’m experiencing a new kind of anxiety because it’s cold, dark and rainy and he’s out there with hands firmly stuffed in pockets, telling us how cold its gonna get tonight. I think they rented out his office and now him, the sound and camera dudes are permanently holed up in the back of an OB van, ceaselessly rolling along the ring-road and arterials like one of those toxic ghost-ships that’s not allowed to stop in any port

Please channel ten, let him come inside! It’s raaaining! boohoo

Mal Walden is the closest thing to a real-life Kent Brockman I will ever know. I remember when i was six or something, a visit to Camperdown and spotting Mal get out of a red ferrari GTO with I think the weather lady. This was when he was on Ballarat BTV 6. There’s that 1-2 second gap where mike larkan throws back to the studio Mal and Jennifer, and the way I imagine it Mal’s only input in the whole hour is what he can say in that gap; its the only unscripted bit and generally he has some comment on whatever the heck Larkan is up to.

But sometime in this last 24 years mal’s lost a few marbles. Tonight he says, "Venus rising in Gemini", which may or may not have been in relation to Venus passing in front of the sun tomorrow. Maybe Mal’s become a hardcore astrologer. He always says wacky stuff sometimes it doesn’t come out properly at all. I bet he spends most of the afternoon in his office, (out of harm’s way say the real journalists) thinking up what he’s going to say.

I feel sympathy for news readers. It’d be a crap job reading out all the disinfo night after night, even for folks like Mary Kostakidis who get material of a relatively higher quality its still grisly and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it every night. Some, like Brian Nailor get silently, gradually very resentful and it shows on their faces, and others like Mal just go senile.

I feel bad for mal and jennifer too because they just dont gel together. Always accidentally talking over eachother in that bit and the transition to the end-feelgood story and saying goodnight. Terribly awkward. Jennifer reminds me of that scene out of Batman where personalities starting going toes-up with Joker grins on them.

All of the newsreaders on the ABC try to sound like Brian Henderson. He must take valium or something.

I mentioned last year how the channel ten weather guy, mike larkan, often does the roaming around bit popping up here and there to do the weather.

Well he’s still out there and I’m experiencing a new kind of anxiety because it’s cold, dark and rainy and he’s out there with hands firmly stuffed in pockets, telling us how cold its gonna get tonight. I think they rented out his office and now him, the sound and camera dudes are permanently holed up in the back of an OB van, ceaselessly rolling along the ring-road and arterials like one of those toxic ghost-ships that’s not allowed to stop in any port

Please channel ten, let him come inside! It’s raaaining! boohoo

Mal Walden is the closest thing to a real-life Kent Brockman I will ever know. I remember when i was six or something, a visit to Camperdown and spotting Mal get out of a red ferrari GTO with I think the weather lady. This was when he was on Ballarat BTV 6. There’s that 1-2 second gap where mike larkan throws back to the studio Mal and Jennifer, and the way I imagine it Mal’s only input in the whole hour is what he can say in that gap; its the only unscripted bit and generally he has some comment on whatever the heck Larkan is up to.

But sometime in this last 24 years mal’s lost a few marbles. Tonight he says, "Venus rising in Gemini", which may or may not have been in relation to Venus passing in front of the sun tomorrow. Maybe Mal’s become a hardcore astrologer. He always says wacky stuff sometimes it doesn’t come out properly at all. I bet he spends most of the afternoon in his office, (out of harm’s way say the real journalists) thinking up what he’s going to say.

I feel sympathy for news readers. It’d be a crap job reading out all the disinfo night after night, even for folks like Mary Kostakidis who get material of a relatively higher quality its still grisly and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it every night. Some, like Brian Nailor get silently, gradually very resentful and it shows on their faces, and others like Mal just go senile.

I feel bad for mal and jennifer too because they just dont gel together. Always accidentally talking over eachother in that bit and the transition to the end-feelgood story and saying goodnight. Terribly awkward. Jennifer reminds me of that scene out of Batman where personalities starting going toes-up with Joker grins on them.

All of the newsreaders on the ABC try to sound like Brian Henderson. He must take valium or something.

<img src=”http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3308/3634662025_94b1bcef1f_m.jpg” width=”157″ height=”123″ alt=”20040606_MERCURY” />

What I like is when someone stops me in the street and asks me for directions and I’m able to give them to them. That makes me feel good. Like I have a point. Also I like delivering things people like to get. Admittedly community newspapers isn’t top of the range here, but at least they’re free, and you’d be surprised what kind of crap people will accept if it’s free. But something quality would be really tops.

I want to get a plastic bowl, spray paint it gold and attach wings to the sides then wear it. Also wings for the heels of my shoes. I already practice the leaning bit. Rather than walk right up to someone I stop at about four feet away, stretch out an arm and counter-balance with a leg swung out in the other direction. I couldn’t find a picture of him doing that on the net, but there’s one in my bulfinch book. Wait until the scanner’s working.

You’d never know it but I updated to nucleus 3.0
Mostly this entry is just shunting so the page load isn’t so big.
My favourite song at the moment is Xcentric by Monolake – nice to get back to ‘pure’ electronic. All the voice bit sample grow tiresome, particular when I hear bits from the same sources. Xcentric sounds like there’s a whole bunch of ping-pong balls in it.
KLF played in Melbourne last night but the first I heard about it was Friday. Sigh.

alright, finally a little luck for a change

The component of eurovision that I didn’t mention was the commentary. Frankly, I think all those whingers complaining that they want that wogan guy back should go back to england because they must be whinging poms.
I like Des Mangan. I think some of the things he says are funny. Thoughout the week I was thinking that, and thinking ‘it’s a realistic kind of funny. If he’s funny, then so am I’ — that’s a good thing. And then I read this and find that he’s been writing comedy for Sydney radio for eight years. Those sydney people must laugh at anything. It’s heartening for a laddy like me.

Anyway, I went in this competition for one of 25 copies of the book Des Mangan wrote, This is Sweden Calling — I’m so good at those N words or less competitions — the less the better (in this case 25) and I knew I would win and I did. Neato!

Eurovision 2004

Yeah y’know I watched the preliminary final on Friday night and the estonian entry was good because the drummer guy hit the cymbal with his head, a la Animal from the Muppets.

But in the final last night I was going for Serbia n’ Montenegro. SBS really cashed in on the whole thing with a half hour each weeknight in the lead up, then the prelim plus the actual eurovision — so some songs I’d actually seen three times and in some cases that was three times too many.
But it didn’t take long to figure out that the serb n mont song was catchy. Nice chord sequence. Different things appeal to different people, choreography, costume, vocal performance – or the actual sound of the song is what makes me sit up. Plus they had those little guitars.
So I was pretty excited when it blasted into the lead early on, but then faded in the second half. Cora in germany also has a bit to say about it all, and I agree that the voting is the most exciting and interesting bit about it all. I said it last year and I’ll say it again now — it’s actually more complicated than the system we use to elect our political leaders here.

The Ukrainian song that won was kind of okay, but the costumes they had were totally hardcore and understandably would’ve earned them a few points. You could knock up a telemovie sceenplay in half an hour and still get it accepted if it included all that leather, fur and whips.

I liked Ludwig’s head from Malta:

20040517_ludhed.JPG

or more specifically his hair do – a straight haired mullet parted at the side. Very No-Wave or something, couldda slapped on a black singlet and slotted into the new york punk scene.
Moving toward the tongue in cheek ‘I liked’, also I liked Deen from Bosnia n’ Hertzagovina’s ‘In the disco’. It was kind of funny that Deen had this intensely camp singing style but also had these rather racey looking women swirling around him.

20040517_deen.JPG

my uni lecturer would call this scene ‘Patriarchal’
But at least it was distinctive. Interesting to hear that many of the national finalists were picked from ‘australian idol’ type shows, which seemed to backfire for a lot of countries — there was a glut of solo male vocalists. This also says something about those kind of shows (same with Big Brother) that the winners are mostly 20-something white males.
The cruisin’ down the road MOR-fiend in me also liked “Max” from Germany and his tune. Maybe I should grow my hair like Max .. hhehehehheheheehahaHAHAHAAHAAA!
I’m glad I wasn’t on acid when those ABBA puppets came on — that was horrific.

I think if the UK ever want to do well again they’ll have atomise into Wales, England, N.Ireland, and Scotland splitting in two; ‘scotland’ proper and in the north Pictland (or Pixieland — ie. where the Picts live). This way they can vote for eachother.
Then again, the Swedish song seemed pretty lame to me, but did well. And same with Spain – that song was pretty forgetable. I can’t help but wonder how much politics and the state of a country’s foriegn policy PR plays a part in it. Was Spain getting sympathy votes? Did people ditch Israel in the Preliminaries because they are being arseholes to Palestine? Did the UK get no votes because they are US running-dogs in Iraq?
What this theory doesn’t explain is why was Italy not there again? (did they do something terrible and got banned for good?) Same with Hungary and Czech republic. And why did Tango King from Finland bomb out?

panic among the mushrooms

Passing on one such dramatic message to the world via Howard was evidently not enough, for the aliens repeatedly abducted him, which became rather tiresome. Later, however, he stumbled upon one of the few effective defenses against alien abduction: he discovered alcohol. When the aliens grabbed him from his college room one night he was in no mood to co-operate. Although he was happy enough to lie on the examination table, when they started fiddling about with him he got up and protested. The aliens tried to calm him down, but he would have none of it and stood unsteadily in the middle of the room making wild karate movements. The smaller aliens cowered against the wall while the tall alien tried to reason with him, but with no success because Howard was fighting drunk. The tall alien then stared deep into his eyes and the next thing that he remembered was that he was standing on the college lawn, about a mile away from his room, in his underpants.

welcome back space girl

Went to Melbourne yesterday. Picked up CD. Bought some (as Leo Johnson was fond of saying) ‘new shoes’. Apart from a pair of discount converse someone else bought for me I haven’t had any brand new shoes in over six years, so as you can imagine it was quite an event. I got these low-cut doctor martens which at present are a little stiff and need some inner soles for my mutie flat feet. But Veronica gave me a verbal guaruntee that I could wear them every day for the next two years before they wore out. Either way they are rather sturdy and will will be just what the doctor ordered for all those times when I phase out, walk, walk and walk until I end up in the wilderness.
So for good old fashioned service the spouting seal of approval goes to Veronique shoes on Smith st Collingwood near the corner of Argyle. Just up from the Converse, Adidas and Lotto factory seconds places. Oh the discount shoe district? Yes.

As far as I’m concerned JB hifi craps all over Gaslight these days for range of electronic music. I picked up Amon Tobin’s Out From Out Where album, which had a bonus NinjaTune ‘zentertainment’ compilation attached to it. For 23 bucks it’d be crazy not to buy it.

Seymour headbutts. C’mon fellas I wanna seymour headbutts.

Golly, the incumbent’s electioneering campaign is way more entertaining than the challenger’s. And golly I love being a regional Victorian, we know how to take direct action.

<a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunnybreaks/4319862411/” title=”20040422_SEYMOURHEADBUTT by esquimauxpie, on Flickr”><img src=”http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4024/4319862411_ea6a6dc172_o.jpg” width=”200″ height=”301″ alt=”20040422_SEYMOURHEADBUTT” /></a>

Apparently it happened in Kilmore, but the guy was from Seymour and there’s no way I’m going past a heading-opportunity like this. The still image is pretty alright but the video footage, all 2 seconds of it was positively stellar. The facial expressions of the bloke doing the butting — even if I had two hours to sit around trying to word that half-second as he swung his head-as-a-weapon back … I could not. The way he rebounded backwards just as much as the minder was thrown back by the force – O the physics! it was like those silver executive ball-toys. The facial expression of the copper behind them as he realised what was happening and swung into action grabbing the bloke doing the butting.
And that fantastic mullet!

I look at things like this and I don’t see a disturbing display of violence, I see humanity in all its confused, complex beauty. A small man desperately gropes for a solution to an insurmountable difference of opinion, and comes up with the headbutt — the unthinking self-sacrifice where mind clashes against mind and the aggressor withdraws in as much pain as the opponent.

Maybe it’s just due to deadline-induced stress, but I feel like I’m getting laughs out of more and more things lately. I’m grateful I live in an era where there’s video cameras everywhere enough to catch gems like this.

I can’t wait to see what ‘politics’ inspired antics are on the news tonight.

book corner with ys

What I’ve been reading – as I mentioned, World’s Greatest Alien Abductions, here’s the best bit so far:
“In September 1955 the 27 year old Josef Wanderka was riding his moped down a road in Austria when he inadvertently rode straight up the ramp of a flying saucer. He apologised profusely to the occupants, who explained – in perfect German, naturally – that they were from the ‘top point of Casseopea’. Eventhough they were plainly adept at interstellar travel, they were fascinated by his moped and wanted to know how the engine worked. The aliens were of the ‘Nordic’ type: tall with blue eyes and blonde hair. Fearing that they might be harbouring totalitarian tendencies (Austria had been de-Nazified relatively recently), he launched into an anti-fascist diatribe. They evidently found this so boring that they kicked him out of their flying saucer without subjecting him to an invasive medical examination.”

Also a while back I heard a(nother) voice in my head – and this time it was Zellar saying that I should read Nightwood by Djuna Barnes. And I did. I don’t think it was written by a crazy woman. I’m sure I could get more out of it by going through it another ten times or so. Some of descriptions were pretty different, in this case, different is good. Seem to remember a bit about indoor plants at night that had the subtlest hint of evil about it – very nice. I had to borrow a uni library copy; the 2nd hand bookshop man telling me that while it had a bit of a literary rep, it had no volume. It’s rare to come across books like that, usually if publishers can stick a new cover on and churn ’em out, they will. I suppose it was a bit hard to follow — seemed like a lot of the ‘he said’, ‘she said’ tags were missing. Although I only read it in snatches late at night.

Also am reading The Consolations of Philosophy. Coming up against the word philosphy has made me cringe ever since I did my lolly, one fine afternoon in an Eastern Religions class a couple of years ago. I wrestled WolfBoy, a classmate, to the ground and bit a chunk out of his scalp. It was his fault. He was trying to start up the “But, Is this table really a table?” ‘discussion’. Of course it’s a fucking table.
DeBotton, who wrote this book is doing a fairly good job at dumbing down philosphy to an acceptable level necessary for this visually oriented, short-attention–
It’s kind of like a self-help book for snooty people. I like it. It introduces you to some of the main Playas and I suppose if you wanted to you could read more of their stuff if there was any who hit your wave-length.