Congratulations on your purchase of the A330 – 200 Airbus.
Please note the predated wallpaper in the loos as you stand there waiting for something to come out.
If during take off / landing you notice the superstructure shaking violently, do not be alarmed, it’s just the inner plastic panelling. At altitude you may also become aware of a difference in cabin air temperature around the emergency exits. This is because they are doors, and well, there’s no such thing as a closed system.
To the crew, we hope that you take every opportunity to make use of our special, built in Turbulence Simulator™. Use Turbulence Simulator™ to keep cargo pacified for optimum periods of time. In case of fire style self as early-80s prog-rocker.
To the driver, if you happen to forget your video of ‘Transformers’ don’t worry! A330-200 comes with built-in back up tapes of DeGrassi Junior High.