I Can’t Go For That, No-ee-oh

To the people here, is not the weather fan-fucken-tastic at the moment? — take away the humidity but leave the warmth and the viability to lead a normal life here goes up by magnitudes.
Anyway, so last night as I crawled out of the subway hole as per usual, I decided to walk home rather than catch the battle-bus.
There was some sort of festival event outside a govt. building. A high-school age band played the main riff of Nirvana’s Smell’s Like Teen Spirit, but stopped when it got to the singing bit. They threw their heads around more than was called for, wore girl’s cardigans and had terrible taste in guitars. You’re not supposed to use a slap-bass for a song like that.

Then within minutes the whole stage changed and it became like some kind of quarter-circus. There was a metal cage with a fucking tiger in it! The cage seemed overly small, the tiger didn’t look well treated and I immediately felt sorry for it. These kind of things, outdoor public events in Seoul, you can be assured that there will be no shortage of spot-lights or PA-volume. The speakers are always set to the highest so that the sound is breaking up. They played that 80s pop single, Man Eater (look out boy here she comes she’s a) by Hall & Oates.

Hall & Oates

I was kind of surprised at how they’d picked an appropriate song, but still had doubts that the tiger was a girl. The door lifted on the cage, the the tiger took a step out and pounced on a guy standing not far away. I really don’t know what he was doing standing there in the first place, on the stage like that. And of course the tiger was pissed, what with all the noise, light … plus the small cage.

I happened to be standing at an angle where I could see it all; all being how it swatted at his head to knock him back off balance and then (!) I dead-set saw those huge eye-teeth puncture right through the guy’s torso — stomach, kidneys, liver — who knows.

It reminded me of those teethy things you use to remove staples from bits of paper that’ve been stapled.