I would like to take a moment to tell you about the items of apparel that are now Missing In Action somewhere inside Vietnam.
First: a green face scrubber last seen somewhere in the North.
Two pairs of sox. One of them was a pair given to me by a dear friend, but don’t get me wrong, every pair of sox is priceless.
One Red & Blue zip-up top, purchased only weeks before. Why is it always the young to go first? Lost in a tragic mix up involving a civilian bus in the mountains. Our group was sleep-deprived, disorientated. I turned around for a minute and it was gone.
There was also one other piece of clothing, which for the life of me I cannot remember what it was, that disappeared. This shall be known as The Unknown Item.

While these incidents are very much in the public eye at present, let’s not forget the apparel that made it out intact but were nevertheless traumatised. All my underwear is undergoing counselling and the shoes still wake up at night, screaming.

PS. if anyone actually wants to go to Dangerfield in Melb (cnr Flinders, Swanston) and get me another red & blue top – they are, like, fifty bucks, large-sizey, with an “r” on the left breast, located up the back of the store. I’ll pay ya back.