At yesterday playlunch I was reminded of that joke, “What’s worse than finding a worm in yer apple? Finding half a worm in yer apple” because I found a small worm, or grub, in my apple. There are people out there, very rich people, who never have to deal with sub-par produce ever. The thought of what it would be like to find something alive in a piece of fruit is so far back in their life, or maybe was never there at all if we’re talking about lineage, that they must think that everybody else’s fruit experience is totally peachy too.

It’s just that, for a week there, I was buying slightly more expensive apples and there’s some crispy, fresh apples out there to be had. But then they got a bit more expensive and I went back to the cheaper bulk which is more of a lucky-dip re quality.

I’m also in the processings of sorting out a new computer for the home — a home-computer if you will, and I got a flat screen monitor last night but discovered this morning that it tends to stretch fotos in a way that is unatural. I think it’s going to have to go back. I’m fucking hopeless when it comes to shopping for stuff like that.

I’ll scout around a couple of weeks, look at things but not really ask anything, then make my decision late at night at home, based on the typeface of the model name on the outside. Then some time later I’ll march back in there, go straght for the thing then buy it as quickly as I can and get the hell out. I suppose I haggle a little – ask Gagga juseyo — a discount, please give me– so they take ten dollars off.

Q. Who was the first person to walk on the moon?
A. Louis Armstrong.