Lee Ving’s saliva

Please witness my .mac homepagey. Viewable for as long as their scungey little trial membership lasts for. Y’know if apples only made the hardware and the basic software I would think yep, no problem, they’re cool. But then you get a look at some of the ‘lifestyle’ things – and at the models they have in them and I start to think, hmm well, they could be like me – afterall, I’ve come a long way from the bleak-outlooked cynic that I used to be. But then the clincher is having a look at the songs they offer up to sell at their itunes store — what constitutes alternative, and it makes me shudder.

Progress report: I stuck the vacuum cleaner head up against the laptop fan vent and let it go for it — it’s done wonders – almost back to original levels of quietness. Buoyed by this brainwave with DIY technological know-how, I think I’m going to get a thing of oil and squirt it in there.

Thing three: Nasa might be a two-bit operation that doesn’t get enough money and who spends 90% of what they do get on entertainment and propaganda… but even I have to admit that those two little cars that they landed on mars have done exceedingly well. That’s one success story that they should talk up more.

Addendum: I find my relationship to tv really, really confusing. There’s nothing that it makes now that I can handle. A couple of times I’ve tried watching things that I used to watch as a kid, like Knight Rider, and both what I see and how it makes me feel — the closest thing I can liken it to — is nightmares during fevered sickness. When I did watch it I got uncomfortable because the scenes moved so inexplicably slowly and they added up to nothing. I can’t understand how I watched it as a child.

When I was little time was endless, and apparently it was endless for tv programming too. Not that things like Big Brother and other recent developments are packing in any more vital shit, but somehow they create the illusion that they are.

Some australians will remember there was a segment on Hey Hey It’s Saturday, when in was on in the morning slot, where Daryl and Ozzy would have people send in complaints about different edible products — it was all about bad packaging. They’d get an example of, try and open it and the biscuits would break or whatever and point proved, case closed. A great way to fill up a small part of a slow moving saturday morning.

I might do a vid.podcast like that segment. I just accidentally sprayed nuts all down the sink.

A review of Johnny Computer in Itaewon

This is just my subjective experience and obviously should be read that way, but when the fan in this laptop started to make too much noise I took it to Johnny Computer to see if something could be done about it. I thought that perhaps a little oil would do the trick, but i’m not confident about opening up the thing myself so I went to Itaewon.

I left it with him for a couple of hours. When I came back he said there wasn’t much he could do because all the components are modular and the whole fan assemly would have to be replaced by Sony people. But he had done something to make the fan ever-so-slightly less noisy, and promptly charged me 50 000 won for it. (It returned to full-noisy about two weeks later … money well spent.) He then lamely tried to sell me some sort of cooling base that the laptop sits on to keep the internals cool. This is because the top part where your right hand rests gets pretty warm – this is regular – it’s just the way that Sony make they’re shit.
All up – I prefer the kind of tradesman who will take a look at something and say, “sorry mate, there’s nothing I can do”, and not charge you for it — rather than the kind who know there’s nothing they can do, but who pretend they can so they can extract some money out of you.
It’s kind of short-sighted considering he has no web presence and blogs among the ex-pat community are a good chunk of word of mouth.

My advice is if you need something repaired – take it to a run of the mill computer shop, and take a friend who can speak Korean (if you can’t).

who or what are you?

I bought a mac mini and some bits to plug into it.


As it usually goes though, now that I have the resources to get something like this, I don’t have much time to sit down and really muck around with it. It all seems to work fine though, good for watching the odd d/loaded ep of x-files on before I fall asleep.
The mini came from australia; there was a single apple shop in this country of 48mil, but it closed a couple of months ago. The last time I had electronics imported, a laptop from the US, the customs folks slapped a hefty 10% import fee on it when it got here, but I was pleasantly surprised when it didn’t happen this time. I don’t know why.

I got an apple keyboard here, from technomart, because a keyboard is not something to skimp on when it comes to quality. I was there buying it and the guy was like, lol what? you want to buy just this thing seperately? That’s confidence in yr wares for ya.

And because this is the land of the flatpanel lcd screen, I got one, badged as Zeus 2000 BTC, and made by the LG. It’s a full 20.1 inches of bigness. I initally thought it was stuffed but it was just that I hadn’t done the settings right.
That foto looks pretty messy with all the cords everywhere – and it’s the truth – there are cords everywhere but I haven’t done much to get it all out of the way yet.

I am roughly familiar with teh apples software so there haven’t been too many headaches trying to do stuff. I am interested in trying out parallels – because having apple, windows and linux systems all going on the same machine is something I envisioned sometime ago. See here I even cameoed for them.

The perpetually dusty environment at work and home has been taking its toll on the sony vaio laptop and even after only a year the fan inside of it is groaning hideously; bad news beacuse it’s really essential for work, and also because I got it from another country there’s no warranty situation.

* * *

One more technology nerdy bit – I got a new phone. A friend helped me get it, because eventhough it’s on a prepaid system, the kind of visa I’m on won’t let me get it by myself. The old phone was prepaid too, but at a higher charging rate.


Made by the good people at Curitel/Pantech for KTF — there’s no way this thing is getting out of Korea – so mostly this is just for curiosity’s sake for those not here.
The numberpad is pretty damn small which is fine for most korean fingers, but it takes some getting used to for me. It’s a slidey phone which may not be evident from the foto.
One thing I like about it is that it has a stop-watch function, which I’ve sometimes thought would be a good addition to a phone.
The electronic dictionary was a big reason why I picked this one over others – finding out what korean words are when I see them is something I’m always wanting to do — alas, unlike a friend’s phone, this one’s dictionary only goes – english->korean, so isn’t as handy. Most of the things like mp3, I don’t bother using.

bass is arse

The other week I ended up going to this recital thing — a saxaphone quartet. It was pretty cool; you don’t see much brass ’round these here parts. They did a whole range of styles but the latin beatz sounded best. I can’t easily get the fotos onto here right now, so just go check the flickr ya and ya. The guy on the far right was really getting off on playing this snake charmer bit during the samba – I think it was a samba.

I was digging the bass sax – take a look at those huge clamp air holes — it reminds me of some big early 50s gold-plated car engine exhaust. At one point the leader guy gets up (it’s weird, when they were playing I totally zoned out but then in the breaks they spoke and I’d think, ‘oh hey yeah I’m somewhere where I don’t know what they’re saying’) and explained things. He introduced the four instruments – soprano, tenor, alto and aforementioned baritone. They each blew off a brief riff and I realise that the clarinet looking thing – soprano – is what Kenny G plays. And I have to admit it’s a pretty sexy sounding thing. It’s disturbing to have those sylables, kenny g and sexy anywhere near eachother, but it wasn’t just me – all the girls made swoony noises — did I mention that despite this being an outside event the audience was almost completely made up of my students and collegues?

Tenor plays and they go Yeah. Alto plays and they go Yeah. Then the bass guy stands up and hits a few notes and everyone laughs – what’s with that? Like how Ringo was comic relief.


At yesterday playlunch I was reminded of that joke, “What’s worse than finding a worm in yer apple? Finding half a worm in yer apple” because I found a small worm, or grub, in my apple. There are people out there, very rich people, who never have to deal with sub-par produce ever. The thought of what it would be like to find something alive in a piece of fruit is so far back in their life, or maybe was never there at all if we’re talking about lineage, that they must think that everybody else’s fruit experience is totally peachy too.

It’s just that, for a week there, I was buying slightly more expensive apples and there’s some crispy, fresh apples out there to be had. But then they got a bit more expensive and I went back to the cheaper bulk which is more of a lucky-dip re quality.

I’m also in the processings of sorting out a new computer for the home — a home-computer if you will, and I got a flat screen monitor last night but discovered this morning that it tends to stretch fotos in a way that is unatural. I think it’s going to have to go back. I’m fucking hopeless when it comes to shopping for stuff like that.

I’ll scout around a couple of weeks, look at things but not really ask anything, then make my decision late at night at home, based on the typeface of the model name on the outside. Then some time later I’ll march back in there, go straght for the thing then buy it as quickly as I can and get the hell out. I suppose I haggle a little – ask Gagga juseyo — a discount, please give me– so they take ten dollars off.

Q. Who was the first person to walk on the moon?
A. Louis Armstrong.

cute, cute in a stupid-ass way

I’ve been listening a bit to Scott Walker. I am the kind of person that can fall in love with a voice and Walker would have to have one of the best male singing voices I’ve ever heard. So far only listened to Scott sings Jacques Brel; a flemish dude. It would be too much to expect to find a noraebang (kareoke joint) that had the song, ‘Jackie’ on the machine, but maybe when I get to that big old singing practice room in the sky, where there are golden tamborines for everyone and the little cans of carbonated beverage are never-ending–maybe I can cavort around and sing it there.

I’m going to start compiling a list for when that day comes:

Jackie – the Scott Walker version
I’m Straight – Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers
Ordinary World – Duran Duran
the Black Velvet Flag version of the Suicidal Tendencies song, Institutioinalised
…and so on.

Apropos of nothing, have you heard of Abkhazia?

max n lemon

It’s getting near to that time when I need to get a haircut. The place I’d been going to has become tiresome beacuse they keep putting the hard word on me to find one of the loser hairdressers a man from australia. It takes a lot of time and energy when the amount of mutually recognised language is almost nil. Last time they drew me a picture with stick figures depicting the hairdresser, me and ‘friend from hoe-jew’ (australia).
There’s a new place in town called, “The Sham Poo”. I’ll give them a try.

satewite of wuv

I think everybody’s done this at some stage. Gone to the Google maps and take a picture of your house. This is the last place I resided in W.Geel. But what the heck’s going on in the backyard these days? It looks like she’s got the carcass of a pleasi-o-saur out there.

eye in the sky

I note with hackish tone of voice that this level of photo-resolution promptly ends right at the shell refinery in Corio.

I know that the maps thing has been around for ages but I forgot about it. Because I have nothing but time I often set it to about 700ft, give the wheel a spin and then stare at the sprawl that floats by. For half an hour straight I watched as it flew over the peninsula here. When it stopped I got so dizzy that I fell off the chair.

sunny breaks is dying

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I sure have. Things have really changed around here. A bit top heavy if you know what I mean. The Committee, you know. It’s as if I can’t get a damn thing passed them anymore. And that means no updates on the front page. Don’t complain to me – go talk to The Committee. Of course, you won’t actually get to talk to them – no one does. I don’t. I write things. They sit in ‘your drafts’ waiting for approval but everything these days gets trounced.

There was the idea about the sausage vendor who ended up at a conference in Novosirbirsk. There was the one out about the wild colonial kiwi boys and thir thin noses, bad skin and greasy hair. The story about the Vladivostokian brass band that escaped from the amusement park in their bright red greatcoats and fuzzy-felt beefeater hats; on the run from cruel immigration officials keen to send them back to the samsung overlords. There was the one about the trousered ape, the boy with the rainbow parasol and Darth Vader “I’m your dad, baby” – the scene on a suburban bus in a sunny seaside town during may. A little girl standing with her mother sitting and the bus bumping around but not enough to knock anybody too much and the little girl is pointing to the back of the mostly empty bus and jumping up and down and saying something to her mum. The mum looks around and there’s Darth, all arms n legs cramped into the little bus seat.
There was the one about the undertaker’s girlfriend, sarah. And there was a real life anecdote from yours trooly from when I was 15yo and I got benignly posessed by the spirit of Steve Peregrin Tooke, while high and listening to Tyrannosaurus Rex’ album, Unicorn.

Those are only the ones I can remember off hand. Peace out.


I s’pose I should say rip to the steve irwin. He died doing what he loved. What does that mean? What does that mean??? If I died doing what I love you’d find me toes-up half way through a spellcheck with normal words like Denis substituted with the suggested words, like tents. I never watched his tv shows but I have a deadly serious attitude about quarintine. I was reading some obit. news article and it had a bit from him addressing some boring committee in a boring way but then he adds and that scares the living daylights out of me at the end of a sentence so I guess he was always on. I once lived in a share house with a guy who was manic. When we’d do a group shop he’d always look at the cashier’s name tag at the checkout and make a point of saying their name a lot.