It is summer and so the windows are open all the time. At three o’clock the other night I was woken by something going on outside on the street. I looked and saw four grey aliens running around with one of those little red daelim motorbikes. A couple of minutes later they disappeared, then reappeared half an hour later, this time with a silver motorscooter as well.
They parked them right out under my window and gabbed on in that gutteral zeta-reticulan lingo of theirs. I looked again and was puzzeled at their body-language. They moved in a rapid, spidery way, as they always tend to, but also the way they poked at the bikes– taking the keys from the ignition and trying to open the under-seat compartment and so on– reminded me of monkeys. Monkeys like the prehistoric scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey. One would normally assume that they’d brought the bikes with them from their spaceship… a nocturnal joyride through the quietened streets where they’re they’re less likely to be ‘encountered’.
But y’know I got the feeling that they’d actually stolen these bikes. And while aliens disgust me in most ways you care to mention, one decent quality they posess is that they’re not big into theft. I mean, they can magic-up anything they want on that UFO of theirs. Believe me – I’ve seen it happen.
I was aggrivated because I was losing sleep. I’m not good without sleep. I put underpants on. I turned all the lights on, went to the window and slid the flywire screen open.
“HEY! Get outta here ya punks! …. FAHCK OFF!” I screamed in a menacing tone.
The whole time they’d not seen me watching them, so were surprised to be yelled at from nowhere.They backed away from the bikes a few steps as if they were about to scatter.
“Ooor… sorry. Veddy sorry”, one of them said. I stepped away from the window but they quickly took the bikes with them and rebivouacked further down the street. Since the arrival of their kind in 1947 they’ve very slowly been learning English, but apparently it’s been taken up much more heartily in the last ten years or so. Nevertheless, they still have trouble with the Rs.
Within ten minutes I’d brought my adrenilin and temper under control and settled back down to sleep.
I surprise myself because I am becoming someone else. To age is one thing, but to transform in nature and attitude… is someone else entirely. The course of action I took that night, which may seem mundane to some or most, is one that I never would’ve imagined myself taking – even as little as two months ago.