I discovered a way to cut a whole 20minutes out of my morning routine. All I have to do is not make or eat breakfast and coffee.
I was doing surprisingly well too up until 11am. And it wasn’t the lack of food that hit first – it was the where’s the caffeine headache. It was like my temples were were being suctioned and crumpled from the inside.
I keep thinking about Dennis Hopper’s character, Frank, in Blue Velvet and how fucking good he was. In particular, the scene where him and his cronies are taking Kyle McLachlan for a ride and they are at some dood’s house and Frank says Let’s have some beers, what kind of beer ya like neighbour? – to Kyle. And the young guy leans in and you can’t hear what he says but Frank screams in surprised anger, “Heineken!? Fuck!… ” and so on.
Is it wrong for me to feel like wanting to name a possible progeny after Frank?
That was all Tuesday. Yesterday there was more suction. I mistakenly went to the doctors. Rule of thumb not followed – don’t go unless there’s something wrong. There wasn’t but they gave me a voucher for a free check up. Stuck a torch in my ear and recoiled in subtle horror at what was in there and said I should go see the ear guy to get that shit cleaned out.
I did but had to wait for ages, which just isn’t good enough when you’re actually paying for it. I was thinking that to make this worthwhile I’d have to come out of it hearing in crystal clear FM Fucking stereo.