top 5

My top 5 toy inventions that didn’t make it to the toy shops this year.

1. As a lad growing up I was never properly shown how to shave. Through the years I have suffered through one disaster of symmetry after the next. I still have no idea what I’m doing. Sometimes I entertain ideas of experimenting with facial hair styles but each time I get to the mirror I crumple at the hopelessness of it all.
“Shave Guevara” was a plastic head & shoulders with that face and expression we by now all know and love or hate. In essence it’s just a recycled idea – I think there was some doll whose hair you could cut — but “Shave…” was for boys. There was a button in the base which when depressed, pushes hair through tiny holes in the face. This hair, when short, looks like stubble however the more that is let out, the more the thing looks like a beard.
It’s rather difficult to get genuine facial hair, so we were going to settle with greasy Latino head-hair. Suffice to say, there’s not shortage of that.

I guess this next generation isn’t made out of the same stuff as the current because in the testing phase kids would continually get the heeby-jeebies from Shave’s thousand-yard stare. They were getting nightmares and all, so the whole thing got canned.