nirvana gor to da moofies?

I’m glad I didn’t actually pay money to see that stupid star wars movie. A buddy had a pirate dvd. It had numbers running across the top which partly obscured things. Nevertheless, this didn’t stop me from concluding that it was what we in Brectian circles of cinematic device-ology call, “fucken shit”.
I have two possible thoeries: i. George Lucas died after making the original three movies and some 12yo kid made the more recent three. ii. George Lucas didn’t create the first three.
Lending weight to the former theory – the kid got fed up by the time the last one had to be made, and so just cut and pasted everything from the others — dialogue, scene structure, you name it. There was nothing new in it.

31? It’s a whole lotta fun

As I write this, it was 31 years ago that I made the transition from liquid-breather to air. I went out for dinner with some of the ladies last night but today I think I’ll just clean the grouting in the shower.
Certainly the last six of this 12 months have been interesting but it’s never enough. I’m always wanting more. I could beg and beg for you to let me tap your front teeth with a fingernail but as soon as I got that then I want to stick my hand down your throat.

Here is a list of stuff I would’ve liked to get but didn’t:
this laptop.
– dvds of twin peaks
– subscription to Nexus
amon tobin‘s splinter cell soundtrack, plus probably a bunch of other stuff from Ninjatune.


The dilemma always is that if I mention someone on here in a less than Disneyfied light (read: honest) then I’m reluctant to mention the URL to them, but if I don’t then there’s gaps in this moulded old version of subject reality. That is to say the blind date went kind of okay – but I just don’t get women. I think it is that I get to this age and I have to admit that to myself. Astrology is so popular because people don’t get eachother. Factor in cultural differences on top of this and I might as well have just landed on what ever the hell name of the planet is in The Left Hand of Darkness.
She’s pretty good looking and if she is completely crazy then it wasn’t immediately obvious. Really into touching, like almost from the get-go, but also hardcore christian – this much: getting up at 5:40/6am to pray, going to churchy twice a week, and also telling me that her “company” (apparently congregations divide into these so they’re more manoeuvrable and able to respond quickly) rocked up to the front of the President’s house on Monday (public hol) to pray for him and sing hymns.
That’d give me the heeby-jeebies if I was Prez.
Especially if I was corrupt.
Which he almost certainly is.

But boy she sings like a canary. And that’s no meatphor – during the evening in toto of several minutes broken into about eight episodes where she was making chirping noises.
Okay, I’m making that last sentence up. But seriously the only people who can’t sing in this country are spazzies and foriegners.

So, anyway yesterday evening I was walking thru town with a loaf of WHITEBREAD under my arm, coming back from the supamarket when I just happen to bump into her. She smiles and I stand there like an iditio (as usual) while she finishes off parkin her car. She was wearing the pendant thing I gave her (good sign) but when she gets out she says she’s busy and, just like that, keeps on going, saying she’ll call me. All I was after was a stupid trivial how’s your day? 15second convo — and no matter how busy I was I’d still do that. I dunno. And no call.

How is it that I can go from being unemployed to having a full time job and yet I’m still not busy?
Although I maintain that I haven’t been bored in 8 years, but I’ve been having border feelings this year compared to last.

The gumment seems to have stopped my out-going emails because not even my mum will reply to me, let alone the fucking credit card company.

* * *

“And he’s saying to me that, ‘You know how you have memories?’

And I’m saying like, ‘What do you mean, memories?’

He’s saying, ‘You know how you remember your father, your mother, your sister, the birthday parties?’

I think he’s giving me an example and I’m saying yes.

And he goes, ‘Someday people who are like you will not have those memories either. They’ll be like me.’ Like him meaning.

And I’m saying, ‘What do you mean by that?’

He’s saying, ‘Don’t you understand that?’

I said no, or rather, I don’t say no, I just shake my head. And then again he tells me to listen.

He says, ‘There will be only one purpose for you. You won’t have memories like you do now.’

I’m asking him like, ‘You mean me?’ He goes, ‘No, the people who will come after you.’

I don’t know what he means by that.

He’s asking me, ‘Are you understanding?’

I’m shaking my head like I don’t. I’m asking him, ‘They’re not going to take me away, are they?’

And he’s saying, ‘They don’t need to take you away. They will come.’

I don’t know what he means by this. Again I ask him what are they doing.

He looks down and he looks up at me again and he lifts his arm up. He is saying something like, ‘Do you see this?’

And I say, ‘What, your arm?’

He goes, ‘Never mind.’

I said, ‘No, tell me. Tell me. What are the aliens doing?’

And he’s saying all they’re interested in, that no matter what happens at all, is that they control.”

I <3 aliens and children somuch.

nirvana climb the mountain?

I saw a couple of chinooks for the first time the other day, hulking by. Those things are so strange – I don’t know how you’d operate a chopper with two rotors.

I got the lollies a few weeks back while at Everland. It took quite a bit of digging through that little plastic bin with the little plastic scoop. By the time I located all the right letters I think the staff were on the verge of calling security.

There’s a feed thing right down the bottom of the right hand column, mainly because I’m always finding/bookmarking things on one machine getting to the other one and not remembering what the search query was that got me there.

I realised the other night how much I’ve started to adapt to environment when I found myself cycling along the road and text-messaging the same time. Then even more local, climb-a-mountain (in the dark) while txting.
I found out from one of the girls at school that there’s a rumour circulating about me that I have or had a wife and kid back in australia — which is pretty rad. I’ve never been rumour-worthy before. Anyway, she set me up on a blind-date with her tutor, and since I’m always on the look out for comedic situations, I accepted. That’s tomorrow. I d’know Joe… why is always the pretty ones who go nuts, busjack, and drive it through the front windows of E-mart? Beats me, Bill. Beats me.

frosty mug

I was hiking up over the local hill the other afternoon and I came across this bear. Or at least I thought he was a bear. He was sitting on a rock wrestling with his foot. He noticed me standing there watching him.
“Grrr”, he said.

I was about to pull the camera out of my backpack.
“If you’re not going to run away then could you help me?”, he says.
“What’s wrong?”
“Damn zipper’s stuck”.
“You’re not really a bear are you?”
“Did you run away from a circus?”
“Do you work for a promotions company?”
“I give up then.”

“I’m from the next world.”
“Wow…. y’know I’m no way near as curious as some people. I guess I’ll just find out when I get there, or so I’ve always thought. But since you’re here, and since I’ve thought of it right now instead of next week or something … what’s it like? The afterlife I mean.”

He stood up slowly and had a bit of a scratch of the back of his fake-fur covered neck with his fake-fur covered paw/hand. There was little black fuzzy-felt triangles at the end that must’ve been claws. He stretched, slightly bending this way, that way, and I could tell he was kind of chuffed about playing the expert.

“It’s a lot like here really.”
“Yep. Well actually it’s not as good as here.”
“Oh pffft, get outta here!”
Yeah. Sure it’s cleaner but you walk around the streets and think ‘Where’s all the people?’ It’s cold most of the time and the lunch and dinner menus are limited, and by limited I mean limited. Mostly it’s pulse based, and that grain, what’s that grain … ?“
”I’m sure I don’t know.“
”No one gets much of a say in anything.“

I was looking into the small square of meshed netting below the protruding, patent leather bear nose. I was 8/10ths sure it was a normal human face in there, but then a couple of times I saw some pin-points of odd, gold glow.

”Listen can you take a look at this zip. I think something’s caught in it.“

The zip attaching the headpiece of the bear suit was well and truly stuffed and I said as much.

”Why are you wearing this now anyway?“
”We’re not supposed to leave. It’s against the rules. But man, now and then, I get this thing for raw fish and there’s this joint in the Downtown that does it just right. The only way to get out is to get disguised as an animal.“

Sometimes when I’m tasked with something I get carried away at wanting to succeed. I yanked at the zipper a few more times and muttered under my breath about how they should’ve used Velcro fasteners.

”I reckon I can get it off but the method might be a bit unconventional okay?“
”Please. I’m boiling in here.“

I grabbed ahold of his fake fur bear ears and yanked but the guy or whatever was almost as tall as me so I couldn’t get enough leverage. I got him to bow forward and I put a foot on his shoulder for purchase. For the sake of warning as to what was coming I called out, ”1, 2, 3, Heave!”

The stitching on the ears was not great by any means and it came clean away. The rest of the bear costume, and what was in it, went barrelling backward over the edge of an unfortunately close ledge. I scrabbled carefully to the edge, bear ears still clamped in my hands, and had a look over. It wasn’t that far down — 10 or 15 metres maybe but he landed on a pointy rock that’d snapped his spine backwards quite nastily.

So I guess he ended up going back to where he came from.
It wasn’t my fault, I swear.