pete standing alone

Okay so there’s not boys at the school afterall, it’s the table-tennis team. It’s just that the other 99% of girls look so girly and the table-tennis team all have bowl haircuts and always wear tracksuits. One of them was in a class today, but didn’t say anything – because they’re training 24/7 — they don’t go to normal classes. That’s what robinson crusoe, the other whitey, told me. They just hang out down there all day – you can rock up and have a hit with them if you like but they’ll whip yr arse like you weren’t even there.
I feel a bit sorry for them really – not being able to lead a normal life and all. Dusk, alone, walking across the soccer pitch, dropping to knees and craning upward, beseeching, “God! Oh God, why did you make me this way?!? Why am I so good at table-tennis? I just want to be a like a regular boy girl!!”.

And really, if ping-pong is a sport then I’m a hamster thesis. Ping-pong is what you play in your auntie’s garage. The rule is, if you can hold a beer and a fag in one hand and still do it, it’s not a sport. Badminton sucks pretty bad too.

I’m not middle-aged, korean or a woman, but if I was I would dress in golf clothes. It’s a great look. I’d always look like I was just about to go play golf — but instead the main thing I’d do is solve mysteries.

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