stories about eggs

One of the coolest thing I’ve seen is these sneakers that some kids wear which have wheels in the heels. There’s just one in each shoe situated somewhere under the ball of the foot, and when they angle a foot to the ground just so, the wheel connects with the ground — and hey presto — instant roller skates.

One of the most filffy, Fillfy mate, fillfy things I’ve ever seen is an infomercial for a b’dai (I don’t know how you spell it) that’s clocking around at the moment. There’s these two women and one of them folds up her index finger tight against her palm then squirts a stiff looking mustard into the central crevice. Next comes a wiping with a bit of toilet paper, leaving some lodged in the crack. CUT TO: close up CUT BACK TO: the two women talking, no doubt, about how this is what your sphinctre looks like right now, you dirty animal. This what conventional wiping is leaving you like. The fear factor employed is a pair of thin, white cotton underpants over the top and a stain showing – ie. the nightmare of four-dimensional skid-marks.
CUT TO: faces of people – squirmy yet exilerated as their crack-holes are blasted with warm-water from Brandname B’dai.

I’ll never look at mustard squirted into a clenched fist the same way again.

One of the things I really like about being here is that you can act as faggy as you like, flapping yr wrists about, twirling and dancing about and no one will ever give you an anti-faggy look. It’s really that low on the radar that it just doesn’t register in people’s minds at all.
And you’ve got to admit that skipping is a great and efficient way to get around… maybe I’ve been hanging out with 12y.o. girls too much.

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On a different note, I’d like to say again what a great company Host Central is. Sunny Breaks is currently way over its agreed upon space limit because last week I decided it’d been too long since I messed computer things up. I got rid of Linux on the laptop, but had to find somewhere to stash loads of fotos first – answer – the webspace. I reinstalled OS X thinking everything would be fine and it’d connect to the school network no probs, but there were probs. Anyway, hopefully this whole stoopid connectivity problem can be rectified soon.

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