Maybe a month ago now that cat of mum’s went walkabout and didn’t come back. Every cat has its foil; food, sex, drugs, roughhousing, hunting et cetera and this one’s was definitely food. We guess it probably ate somethin’ it shouldn’t have and died in a field. Either that or it got abducted by aliens. Or maybe it was an alien and was homesick.
Y’know there’s this theory based on how a lot of stuff – like cultivatable grains and veges etc. came about too quickly when measured up against what the evolution-science-mafia mob say. “Oh, selective planting huh? Yeah right.” – that’s what the ‘intelligent design’ people say. They’re not creationists, more along the lines of the earth was seeded by a more ancient race.
I don’t know if they’re right but when I look at a lot of mammals they seem so odd and different and I fancy they each came from different planets, like a horse planet, seal and dog planets, cow planet and definitely an elephant planet.
One day a long time ago, 1970s and ancient Egypt, cats in their flying saucer came into orbit and scanned the planet. They looked at the humans and knew that if they wanted to, they could come live here because they knew the humans were partial to soft, furry mostly floppy things. So they did. “We Go Where We Please” – that’s their motto.
Also, the little dog that I claimed was a stock photo of a little dog in this post wasn’t. It was actually a friend’s little dog. About two months ago it got mauled by a larger dog. He loved that little dog, he’d pick it up and nurse it like the Duchess and the baby pig.
My mum was dropping sis off at the train station and there were these scungy kittens running around the joint. My sis said chase it get it or something like that but they didn’t. Mum tried not to sqwash any when leaving the station — and she didn’t — but when she pulled up at the servo she looked around and there was the same kitten. Just like Sideshow Bob, as she rightly pointed out, it’d somehow attached itself to the bottom of the beat-up beat-down ‘85 volvo stationvagen. Ma took this to be a sign and took the kitten home. It’s ugly as all fuck, apparently.
Best christmas song that nobody ever plays: another lonely christmas by Prince.
I would do one of those best albums of the year thingies except that I don’t remember if I’ve actually listened to any albums that were made this year. When it comes to figuring that stuff out it’s like I’m permanently on drugs. I just found out I had Neil Young’s Harvest Moon on LP – I don’t know how long it’s been there.
It probably wasn’t made this year, but it did make quite an impression on me — Richard Cheese’s Lounge Against the Machine album. I mention this because I surprise myself that I like it, I mean, I’d sooner stab myself iin the ear drums than listen to Limp Bizkit, Blink 182 or Offspring — but the reinterpretation of their songs in a caberet style impresses me in a way that I could really make sound good if I could only remember all that academic jive lingo I learnt in communication studies.
It’s just very catchy and singable. If I had to get up and do a kareoke number, I’d sing the dick cheese version of Guerilla Radio.