johnny howard’s surf team
November 23rd, 2004
You must tell us if any of these things below happened in the period Wednesday 10 November 2004 to Tuesday 23 November 2004.
Accomodation and Rent
· You bought the farm.
· You started living on a houseboat in downtown LA just like your heroes Steven Segal, Sly Stallone and Kurt Russell.
Income
· You got rolled.
· You know how to keep your mouth shut and Uncle Pauly will look after you because of it.
· You won second prize in a beauty contest.
· A gold watch.
Relationships
· You fell in love with the new fruitshop girl/boy.
· “It’s all about the ‘he said’ ‘she said’ bullshit. I think you better quit lettin’ shit slip.”
· Someone at work touched you on the shoulder and you’re deadset sure it’s gonna blossom into something big.
Children
· You found something in the vegetable patch and it sure as heck doesn’t look like any of the pictures in the recipe book.
Prison
· You are in there.
Studies
· You’re standing on a 9th floor ledge of the Monash Science building hoping the sense of shame doesn’t last too long for your parents back in Hong Kong.
· You figured out how to use Python to receive 3 Austudy payments a week.
· You dreamt you were in the exam hall wearing only a belt and 2 six-shooters.
Approved activity
· You pulled weeds all day from an embankment along a river that smells like a sewer — for roughly $4 an hour.
Overseas and residency
· The lure of Borneo’s rat-spider-monkeys finally got to you.
· Apparently it’s safe as houses back in Afghanistan now that the smack boom’s kicking in so you’re heading back.
Did any of these things happen to you?
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