Lately these one-trick ponies have been croppping up and I’m feeling a bit incensed about it all. These people somehow get themselves into position of making good money via creative pursuits but get away with reusing the same idea over.
I was just listeing to the soundtrack to Powaqqatsi by Philip Glass and I was about to say “it sounds suspiciously similar to 1000 aeroplanes on the roof” (another ‘composition’ of his but there’s no suspicion about it, it’s out and out reuse.
Same with the writer, Will Self. I read Grey Area, a collection of short stories by him — and it’s got characters, plots, ideas, even places which were then later re-set in a novel.
And here I am, literally tearing my hair out, hitting myself in the arm, whimpering and gnashing my teeth while asleep, eating vast quantities of lollies, wearing paper hats with esoteric symbols scrawled on them, in attempts to come up with new ideas.
It’s not like I haven’t been trying, that I’ve given up on it all or something.
There was the pitch to Scott McNealy, CEO of Sun Microsystems. I proposed that McNealy leave Sun and star in a sitcom about him and his bogany, space-cadet, adult son.
In the show, McNealy would balance being a single father to his hair-brained, guitar-wailin’-on, “Awesome!” son, Gavin — along with running one of the world’s major IT corporations — along with having plenty of zainy adventures in Silicon Valley … all with hilarious consequences. It’d be called, “My Two Suns” or some other play on sun/son.
Their next-door neighbour would be Oracle CEO, Larry Ellison, who would often get caught up in plots. Larry is always wanting to fly his MIG jet up the coast and bomb Microsoft. Larry is nutty.
Also there’d be an episode where they’d get transported back to 1985 and Christopher Walken tries to sink Silicon Valley — with hilarious consequences.
In the real world, of course, scott mcnealy wouldn’t be able to keep his job and still act in the series, and because of this I was getting huge support for the show from other people in the IT world who wanted Mcnealy out of the way– mainly other people at Sun. Everything was green-lighted except McNealy didn’t want in.
I had a revolutionary idea I sent to several high-ranking ad agencies that would’ve changed the the children’s breakfast-cereal ad market as we know it. It’d be kids writing ads (well, not kids but me – same difference) and presenting the shill themselves on the ads that are aimed at the kids not the parents or let’s face it; mum (or “mom”). Conventional ads in this category are virtually interchangeable with ‘Dine’ catfood ads. They run along the script of: Problem -> kid won’t eat cereal. Solution -> convince kid cereal is tasty but not neccesarily nutritious. Like scientists and lab-rats.
Basically all I wanted to do was reinfranchise the kids, but sometimes the most obvious things are overlooked.
I was trynna pitch a Japanese Count Dracula Movie idea to Chairman Kaga. It still might happen.
And like many of us I’ve considered relocating to one of the state’s regional centres, Ballarat or Bendigo and throwing myself into the TankWar. Even people in Melbourne, let alone further afield, wouldn’t know it but there’s a fierce competition going on in rural Victoria for the average person’s (man’s) above or below ground water-tank dollar. There’s several brands in the race but the only one I can remember is ‘bushman tanks’.
If you were to get up on the roof and turn your arial toward one of those two towns and watch their refeed of the main TV stations – the ad breaks are nothing but tank commercials. (Which actually is a refreshing change from some mysogynist, nubian gobbo spruiking mobile-telephony all fucking night.)
I’m sure I could write a tank ad that’d blow your mind.
Ps. I don’t know how that damn smiley got there. It’s not even the right keystrokes there to make one.