the living dead don’t get a holiday

I was thinking, what if it’d never occurred to us for mail to mainly words written on paper, and instead small birds were sent. Small birds deposited in mail boxes. You’d go open it carefully, get a little finch enclosed in your fist and gently pat its head with your thumb while heading back into the house. There’d be signs on letterboxes like, ‘No Junk Budgies Please’, or ‘Registered Australia Post Canaries only’. I don’t know about the conveying useful information bit. I suppose you’d have to guess who it was from and what it was about.

I’m really into throat-clearing. I’ve been doing it alot myself and happily noting to myself the behaviour when I observe others do it. Because of People Like Us who have a good helping of throat-clearing in their tracks. There’s also a track mostly made up of people going, “um”, called Dolly Pardon. People Like Us is easily the best new thing I’ve come across this year. The music is extremely rich and the man form mars in my head made me listen to it all for a week straight in attempt to grok all the samples; their origins and why they were there.
The other week I rang up DJ 2 on the radio to ask if he’d heard of them and he said, “Yeah I know Vicki. They were out here about three years ago”.

The other day i was at the fruit and veg. store and the person in front of me was buying some stuff, including 3 small, loose mushrooms. I’ve never seen such a non-committal purchase of mushrooms. I love mushrooms. I am one. I buy a whole big bag everytime I go. They’re only $3.99 where I go.

My mother’s stopped reading this website. She said it was becoming tired and predictable and not edgy. I said, mum, nobody says edgy anymore. Shows how much you know, she said. I was talking to her on the telephone and she got some new glasses, with magnetic clip on sunglasses. This means there will be no need to wear two pairs of glasses at the same time anymore. She used to do that all the time, and everywhere — normal glasses on, then big sunglasses on over the top. When you looked you could see the second pair in there. It was such a regular thing that it never really struck me as being dead-set weird.

Last Sunday the psychotic fuck next door cut my phone wire. He has some real anger-mangement issues. A creeper hedge from our yard had made it onto his roof, and instead of asking, ‘hey would you mind trimming your hedge?” he got up on the fence, screaming, quaking with rage, with a pair of long-handled secatuers and hacked it to bits, taking out my connection in the process.
I spent quite a while on listening to the Optus on-hold phone music loop monday morning and a guy came out and fixed it that afternoon. How about a big hand for russell, linesman for the county? I was half expecting it to take a week or something.
Higgins was going to try and get psycho to pay for it — not much chance of that happening. But Optus are going to foot it because it shouldn’t have been running along the top of the fence in the first place.

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