I life: selecting kid mode

What we’re reading:
I borrowed Obi Wan’s hardback copy of Alain deBotton’s Status Anxiety, have been frequenting the coolest coffeeshops and holding it up conspicuously in front of my head. Actually, it’s a shame I missed the two-part tv version because it hardly seems worthwhile writing a book about — reading through so far at least — the points are all so obvious, to me at least.
Although I can’t say I’m exempt from it all. Typically me, I’ve knee-jerked back against it all and am doing a paper round and hoeing other people’s gardens for free, or nearly free. Bigs said to me, “Hold on, I’ll go get you the little hoe” and I chuckle silently to myself. i was getting my kicks out of that bit all morning — Now where’d that dirty little hoe get to? .. and so on.

I saw Chris Wilson play at a joint the other night. In the bus on the way over I realised to the bottom of my gut that this was definitely one of those occasions where I wouldn’t know what to do with my hands. I was wearing jeans with those useless kind of pockets that nothing will go into, and since I’m not a drinker or even smoke a cigarette now, there was nothing else for them except flapping about … or was there?
I slipped open one of the top windows and stretched my right arm all the way out. A truck coming the other way took it off nice and cleanly. I went to the other side of the bus and did the same with my left arm, but had to wait patiently for ten minutes or so until passing through a narrow tunnel. Problem solved!

Little Green Bagslike this. If this was Invasion of the Little Green Bags! then the nasty twist at the end with Leonard Nimoy laughing would’ve well and truly happened by now.
From a marketing POV they’re a runaway success — I don’t think there’s been any advertising at all. There’s been anti-plakky bag guilt-trip ads but as for the LGBs – they’ve just showed up in large piles at the checkout and that’s all.
It’s things like this that give me a glimmer of optimism about positive change for the future. When people are given a reasonable alternative and they don’t have to think about it, they take to it like a duck to water. That is, all except for the old, senile and hopelessly disorganised — who have LGBs in their car but forget to take them into the supermarket with them.

What I’m waiting for now is: Bandits to rob a bank with LGBs on their heads with eye holes cut out — or for it to at least happen on TV. TISM to perform wearing them.

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