provi-dense

It’s not like I’m a complete slacker. Agreed, I’m indulging in a form of slacking right now, but have you ever tried to squeeze an orange house brick in your ear at this time of day? There’s no more room. I did read some of the text book during the year, but same as last semester i get to the night before and am sitting reading through vast tracts of stuff I didn’t really know was there .. and I’m thinking ‘hey this is pretty interesting! I wish I’d spent a bit more time on it’. And there’s this whole chapter on the biological basis of personality, probably one of the more dodgey areas.

On the exam tomorrow half of it is ‘pick a school of personality psychology and write about it in depth’. I was thinkiing, what if I’d swotted all the year so far for this one pay where I’d go in there, write a scintilatingly brilliant knife-sharp essay on biology-psychol. and then in the last sentence or two get a bit rabid and let slip ‘supermen’, ‘rise of the aryan nation’ … the written equiv. of twitching eyelid muscles, the smallest amount of flying spittle.
I wonder how they’d mark it?

ps. I’m not a fascist.

If I could have one super power it wouldn’t flying or any of those things, it’d be the ability to always pick the right answer on multiple choice questions, because half of the fun would be finding ways to actually use it.

In this highly individualistic society, perhaps the most direct way to suceed is not to be swotting, but focussing on how I can vanquish my foes — ie. my classmates. There’s no room for teamwork in this business. They even tell us that in the lecture theatre – they call it collusion. You get chucked out for it.
So at this late stage, what I can do is run into the exam hall 20mins into it, and yell, “I’m not retarded! I’m just running a little late!” — which, by my predictions, should unsettle up to 25% of the competition.

Since their already chopping services and quality out of education like mad buggers, I should suggest to them that instead of running all the exams they should work on a threat-like basis, where there’s a 50% chance of not actually having to sit the exam. Students won’t be sure, so they’ll study and learn anyway, and the vice-chancellor won’t have to pay those old bats who hover around to make sure you’re not cheating off the nerd in front.

Yeah, I’m desperate alright.

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