more news at eleven

I mentioned last year how the channel ten weather guy, mike larkan, often does the roaming around bit popping up here and there to do the weather.

Well he’s still out there and I’m experiencing a new kind of anxiety because it’s cold, dark and rainy and he’s out there with hands firmly stuffed in pockets, telling us how cold its gonna get tonight. I think they rented out his office and now him, the sound and camera dudes are permanently holed up in the back of an OB van, ceaselessly rolling along the ring-road and arterials like one of those toxic ghost-ships that’s not allowed to stop in any port

Please channel ten, let him come inside! It’s raaaining! boohoo

Mal Walden is the closest thing to a real-life Kent Brockman I will ever know. I remember when i was six or something, a visit to Camperdown and spotting Mal get out of a red ferrari GTO with I think the weather lady. This was when he was on Ballarat BTV 6. There’s that 1-2 second gap where mike larkan throws back to the studio Mal and Jennifer, and the way I imagine it Mal’s only input in the whole hour is what he can say in that gap; its the only unscripted bit and generally he has some comment on whatever the heck Larkan is up to.

But sometime in this last 24 years mal’s lost a few marbles. Tonight he says, "Venus rising in Gemini", which may or may not have been in relation to Venus passing in front of the sun tomorrow. Maybe Mal’s become a hardcore astrologer. He always says wacky stuff sometimes it doesn’t come out properly at all. I bet he spends most of the afternoon in his office, (out of harm’s way say the real journalists) thinking up what he’s going to say.

I feel sympathy for news readers. It’d be a crap job reading out all the disinfo night after night, even for folks like Mary Kostakidis who get material of a relatively higher quality its still grisly and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it every night. Some, like Brian Nailor get silently, gradually very resentful and it shows on their faces, and others like Mal just go senile.

I feel bad for mal and jennifer too because they just dont gel together. Always accidentally talking over eachother in that bit and the transition to the end-feelgood story and saying goodnight. Terribly awkward. Jennifer reminds me of that scene out of Batman where personalities starting going toes-up with Joker grins on them.

All of the newsreaders on the ABC try to sound like Brian Henderson. He must take valium or something.