norm gallagher eat your heart out

One of those things I don’t know if other people experience is very occasionally if I’m having a nap in a bright daytime environment and I start to dream then through the whole dream I’ll be stumbling around sheilding my eyes and feeling my way along. Occasionally I’ll lamely flail a bit, attempting to bat away the invisible light source.
It’s that flailing approach that I seem to have adopted to homework this year and it’s proving hard to change the attitude.
Anyway, if it all falls apart there’s a job niche I just noticed that’s open. I’ll become the union organiser for paper delivery people. The bosses call us ‘walkers’ but that’s rubbish, anyone can walk (except people who can’t walk). I prefer the term slotter. They probably don’t earn enough for me to skim a wage off but I don’t care, I’d be happy to do it for the power.
The thing is, if I say we’re going out on strike, then those papers ain’t gonna get delivered and nobody will find out that The Good Guys are having a fridge sale, and the whole society will come to a screeching halt. Besides, slotters get paid so little that the bosses will never find anyone else who’d scab for ’em.
Sure it’ll be a bit of a challenge convincing all the various kinds of people that become slotters to join the union — grumpy old buggers, 10 y.o. kids who can’t concentrate for ten seconds and a myriad other unemployable freaks and half-bakes, but a routine of spending 95% of the week inside alone is preparation that’s second to none.

Once I met a guy who was organiser for a renegade sheep shearers union. He was very good with the talkin’, and had a rotund, silent offsider who did the drivin’. Arms crossed over chest sort.
I need to get me a fat guy.

Yesterday I realised that there isn’t one proper toy shop left in the middle of town here. Fortunately there’s a perfectly good one just up the road. I was looking around :- HotWheels cars have taken on a positively surreal quality
-neither they or Matchbox have any damn cars that correspond with those in reality anymore
-MicroMachines have this variety called ‘Phat’ cars, again surreal. In scale, you’re average street car would be about 30 feet wide. They have these little action sets, ‘dioramas’ if you like, which come with one car. It’s called ‘Phat Boyz City’ and the particular diorama I was looking at was of a hamburger restaurant (at least it wasn’t a product tie-in with McDs or BK).
Maybe it’s a vision of our fat future when, after eating ten hamburgers, we need a 30x30ft car to fit all that lard into.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.