Slotter’s choice awards 2004

I was going to wait til I’d been doing the job a year until I wrote this, but hopefully i won’t be doing it that long. I will only say that this refers to the local main drag. To mention it’s name would be connecting too many of the dots.

Smelliest Shop: Tied between the fish shop and Subway. (I let the cat out of the bag a bit about this the other day).

Even a month ago I would’ve put the fish shop at 1, but there’s this thing about Subway that it seems to get more odourous each time I smell it. And for some reason, fish-mingled air actually feels more natural than their terrible yeasts.

The butcher shops are no picnic either. Although I do like that fact they’re holding out with the old-school format compared to chain-this and chain-that.

Most verbose acknowledgemnet of my presence: Man from the littlest paintshop. I hand over the paper and he says, “Good, thank-you, good on you, tah”. I imagine that if I stood still holding the paper, he’d just keep on going mostly repeating but also throwing in the odd new phrase, like some amazing random sequence machine.

Most enthusiastic person: There was a woman working in an office equipment shop who once raised her fists in the air and said, “Yay!” when I walked in. She doesn’t work there anymore.

Shopkeeper Most Likely to be an Alien: There’s a medical practionioner whose work is to do with that 5-lettered boney thing in the back, and lemme tellya…

It’s easy to take for granted the myriad nuances and minute complexities of being/behaving human when you are one. And I’m sure that in the grand scale, this “man” is doing a pretty good at it, but it’s just not cutting it with me. This morning he says, “Gooood Moooornang ThaaangYooou”. His surname is related to the job he does. Sometimes you’ll get situations like a dentist named Blood — we all know those situations — it’s so ironic that it’s got to be real. But this guy’s name/job match is not quite there.

Once I saw this Tarago or econovan (small people mover vehicle) and it must’ve been smashed up good, then panel beaten back into shape, but the paint was that kind of dirty brown blotchy that panel beaters use. It looked shocken. Yet evidentally, the owners had then gone to the trouble of making a stencil and spray-painted the brand and model of the car back onto the door.

That’s what the alien-man situation reminds me of.

Not that he’s bad. He must be a benevolent alien because he’s helping people get well. I actually read about that kind a month back in Nexus.

Most Interesting looking person: Convoluted Overlays guy. He wears suspenders and has those glasses that sit right down the edge of his nose. Older sort of guy. Still uses Brill-cream I think.

Shop I’d most like to work at: Retail Displays shop — mannequins and plenty of them. There’s all these naked female mannequins in various poses that I see through the window. I almost feel like I should look away, but I don’t.
Plus the hours are good – midday to 5pm – can’t beat that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.