death match mit giant centipede

I really don’t like gardening. Oh how I’ve tried and tried but 9 times out of ten it’s a pain in the arse. I feel like this isn’t good, because I’m supposed to have this connection to nature … and i do – I love to look at the birds out the window here – particularly now that it’s spring and honeyeater and {little stripey with yellow splotch on wing} bird hang around — but I can’t hack all the centipedes involved in gardening. I always seem to get the shit jobs like digging through the compost bins – they’re a complete horrorshow of sights, smells and feels. I had a task of tranferring dirt to two unused troughs today and I did it wrong. (However, I nailed my Enlightenment + food packaging + tourism promotion essay. Yay.)
Maybe I’ll get the hang of gardening one day. It’s in the ‘to be continued’ basket.

Lord of the Cheese for Tuesday is CheeseWorld. I went there once – some time ago now, and had a cheese sandwich and milkshake — certainly one way to be reminded of what gravity is.
There’s not really much there. They could be thinking a lot bigger. A phenomenal number of international tourist get bussed to near by ’12 Apostles’ each day. They could hook ’em with a Cheese theme park — rides, slides — it wouldn’t be too hard to brainstorm up something when cheese is the base.

three-piece bubblewrap suit

I don’t make a habit of regurging other people’s writing, but this is really nice non-fiction – from the ‘Unwrapping Use Value’ chapter of Susan Willis’ A Primer for Daily Life (1991) :

“Of all the attributes of mass-produced commodity packaging today, the most important is the use of plastic. The plastic cover acts as a barrier between the consumer and the product, while at the same time it offers up a naked view of the commodity to the consumer’s gaze. Sometimes the plastic covering is moulded to fit the contours of the commodity and acts like a transparent skin between the consumer’s hand and the object. Shaped and naked, but veiled and withheld, the display of commodities is sexualised. Plastic packaging defines a game of cache – cache where sexual desire triggers both masculine and feminine fantasies. Strip-tease or veiled phallus – packaging conflates a want for a particular object with a sexualised form of desire.”

“Packaging prolongs the process of coming into possesion of the commodity. A buyer selects a particular item, pays for it, but does not fully possess it until he or she pulls open it’s plastic case or cardboard box. Possession delivers a commodity’s use value into the hands of the consumer. Packaging acts to seperate the consumer from the realisation of the use value and heightens his or her anticipation of having and using a particular commodity. Packaging may stimulate associations with gift-wrapped Christmas and birthday presents. However, plastic commodity packaging reveals what gift-wrapping hides. The anticipation we associate with the gift-wrapped present is for the unknown object. In anticipating a plastic-wrapped commodity, we imagine the experience of its use since its identidy is already revealed.”

“In all our experience of consumption, we are little different from the child who convinces his mother to buy the latest Ghostbuster action figure. From the moment he picks the packaged toy off the shelf, to the moment he passes through the checkout, he will trace the contours of the package with his hands, attempt to scrutinise the toy’s detail with his eyes, and lose himself in imagining how it will finally feel to push the lever that makes the Ghostbuster’s hair stand on end and eyes pop out with fright at the delightfully cold and gelatinous slime – also included in the package, but not yet available to the touch.”

My question is, what does this say about those people who collect toys but then don’t open them?

soft serve, hard knox

<a href=”” title=”20040112_WHIPPY by esquimauxpie, on Flickr”><img src=”” width=”190″ height=”229″ alt=”20040112_WHIPPY”></a>
How many mr.whippy vans are there in this state, this country?
I think it’s one of those things about people that we will always be into wanting to race things. Why? To see which thing comes first. And it’s not necesarily a masculine thing either — or it is a masculine thing, and there are plenty of masculine women around too. Maybe masculine’s the wrong word — yang as opposed to yin. This is entirely another topic.

I want to see Whippy van races. National championships – you name it.
Or maybe a movie about the cut-throat world of professional Whippy-dom — wrangles for the best turf between main playas, and such.

url: the spork
date: 2003-09-29-22-50
Mr. Whippy hmm I wanna see the Soprano’s version as Luigy Whippy and da Boys lay waste to the New Zealand Icecream crowd for invading their turf. And we thought they called him Mr. Whippy coz of the ice cream .. naaaaah mate.

minor report back

I ditched blogrolling because it was sub-par. Maybe it’s not it’s fault or maybe it is for relying on – either way only half of weblogs on my list that were updating were being displayed as updated — and particularly all those here and generally based anywhere a long way from where the servers are. I don’t really know how it works. But a link-list isn’t that hard to edit myself.

Have used Mozilla 1.4 for a week and a half and it’s pretty good. Bits where I like Opera better: managing (ie. adding + moving around) bookmarks, jumping to a google search, Opera can be set to never open another window (just open in tabs). Bits where I like Mozilla better: pages just seem to ‘look’ a bit better (maybe Moz makes better use of available typefaces), it’s just a touch less crashy and more flexible with html.

I’ve been using the Mozilla mail program too, and that’s fully alright. Am a bit surprised more hasn’t been done with the Sidebar bit of Moz — I thought I could open AIM (and therefore the Linux mexican non-unionised equivalent, Gaim) in it. So there’s not that much that the sidebar is useful for.
Any speed difference between Moz and Opera is unoticable. If I open up someone’s weblog comments pop-upp in Moz, and there’s a link there I want to click on, I don’t get the option to open it in another tab, just another window.
I used to be 100% dead against the way browsers (like IE and Moz) would open new windows. It doesn’t bother me as much anymore but I still don’t think it’s the best way to do things.

Anyway… that football thing is on… “Hooray for football!”… “You’re all Winners!” .. and so one and so forth.

the brazillianaire

<%image(20040112-lions.jpg|250|175|woof! woof!)%>
Nothing says ‘Welcome to my house in Australia!’ better than a couple of lions at your front gate … except perhaps a large stuffed lion in the lounge room.
These two fine specimens were both part of matching sets seen while walking around and about.

Fiefdom/feifdom? My kingdom for the right spelling of fiefdom. And while looking for it in the dictionary I came across
Felch: verb (i) Colloquial to perform analingus. Also Velch – from homosexual slang of the late 60s, originally a jocular term: origin unknown.
It’s all in the dictionary son – it’s the naughty-word connoisseurs dictionary.

What I’m listening to: feed of amon tobin gig in vancouver — it’s breakCity, baby — I just wish my bandwidth were a little fatter so it’d come through in more than 11Kbps.

Observation: you know you’re dealing with an extrovert when they’re talking to someone on the phone – telling a story, and they’re directing it at you too, as you stand there in front of them.

url: the spork
date: 2003-09-26-21-27
Hmm listening to Amon Tobin now .. very good ..

name: tony
url: the horse’s mouth
date: 2003-09-27-00-16
If it were possible, would lions have statues of humans at the entrance to their dens?

name: Jon
url: the spork
date: 2003-09-27-09-08
Btw this entry 100 .. and tobin is stick rocking my ear passages =). Tony – I recon if I was a lion I’d consider it .. but it’s have to be someone cool .. like hmm .. dunno ..

name: yak sox
date: 2003-09-27-09-25
…George Clooney? hehe – I’m coming around to seeing your point of view, except I reckon he’s cool in a hammed-up Bruce Willis kind of way.
I think it’d be too easy to smash the heads off little stone humans with a cricket or baseball bat. Kookaburras works for me.

I might have to do something with my remaining uni bandwidth re: that Real stream.

ride a white swan or lion

Always feel better about having a buzz around the internet when it’s after doing what I’ve suppose to have done, as is the case right now. Was having some serious freak-out moments yesterday about workload.

More on the Australian ethos: this story is fantastic because it includes (not one but) two key elements of the Australian Character — kleptomania, and having a stuffed lion in your lounge room.

From the article, “at times he used museum vehicles to remove specimens and displayed in his home a large stuffed lion that was a museum heritage item first exhibited in 1911”.
I also think it’s great because he was the museum Bug Extermination Guy. Just like in the movie version of Naked Lunch.
And because no serious harm was done and everything was recovered (thanks to the mass media) we can all have a bit of a laugh at this guy and his mental problems.

The October LinuxFormat mag. has FreeBSD 4.8 on it – pretty neat. Never had a go at BSD, but will in approx. 7 weeks.

carrots, handbags, cheese

Via C.O.R.E. (which stands for L.ots O.f F.un S.tuff – but with a silent L, O, F and S) … is!
today’s cheese link for the day – here.

url: the spork
date: 2003-09-25-07-35
Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers,Badgers, Mushroom, Mushroom – cheesey indeed =). Still it messes with my mind so it’s cool =)

url: the spork
date: 2003-09-25-07-38
Oh I noticed this wasn’t that one – but still it’s a classic – he’s also the guy repsonsible for Weebl & Bob – which is only slightly more mainstream. =)

yak sox
date: 2003-09-25-17-00
Those two are by far the best – the badgers one and the ‘I’ve seen things with my eyes’ one.

date: 2003-12-11-06-41
Carrots handbags cheese toilets Russians planets hamsters weddings poets Stalin Kuala Lumpur!! pygmies budgies Kuala Lumpur!! :’-D

liver mn
date: 2003-12-11-23-37
why dont you show animated porn like the other carrot and cheese sites on google

tree climbing

Went to the dentist last friday – first time in 3 or 4 years. There was a televison wedged in the ceiling. Caught an episode of PlaySchool, the sound was off but I could could still tell what was happening.
The good news is that there is no hole in my tooth where I suspected there might be. The bad news is that it cost 90 bucks to find this out. And she wants me to come back again – she said it was to get some crap out that’s built up under my gums, but I reckon she just likes me.

A brief update on being a smartarse at school – ‘old skool’ was marked as a spelling error — but I got 80% anyway. Something in comments about being ‘a bit too informed’.
In psychology they makes us use a style guide – do this – don’t do that – as to how reports are supposed to be written. In it it says not to kick it off with cliches like “ever since humanity has come down from the trees, psychologists have been interested in…” Guess how i started it off? Hehe – perhaps it was stoopid – we’ll see.

Either way, I’ve got 2 essays totalling 6500words (and some reading for that) and 2 exams squished into the remaining six weeks then I can get back to the important things like launching my singing career with a kareoke version of that McDonalds, kentucky fried chicken or the Pizza Hut song —in German.


url: disinfotainment
date: 2003-09-24-15-43
Do not neglect those teeth, you’ll regret it. I didn’t have health insurance (or money) for about 5 years, I let the dental care slip, I had to spend $1500US just to get that crap out from below the gumline, and man was that painful. Go back and have it taken care of NOW before it gets worse.
If you have bad teeth, you are always miserable. And bad teeth are now blamed for heart disease, vascular disease, etc.

name: yak sox
date: 2003-09-24-16-03
Uh-huh. Actually they’re fairly good considering i just came off an 11 year smoking habit.

I was brushing *too hard* thus pushing down the gums, allowing the crap in.

I only whinge because while decent healthcare costs almost nothing for poor folk like me, dentalcare does cost.
I s’pose I should be grateful that we even get the healthcare — compared to the situation there in the US.

name: Quanta
url: please don’t eat me!
date: 2003-09-24-17-41
Ohhh – Someone takes dental hygiene very serious. Obviously someone isn’t British.

name: yak sox
date: 2003-09-24-21-33
Are you saying the british all have bad teeth? 8)

name: Charles
url: disinfotainment
date: 2003-09-25-04-25
Yeah, I get lectured continually by my dentist about brushing too hard. Be sure to use a soft brush. And don’t forget to floss! I hate to floss, but you gotta do it.

Why Christmas has a tree in it

One fine morning while wandering around down near the Jordan river jesus came upon a tree. It was christmas holidays so there was no school and jesus, who was 14 at the time, was bored and I mean really bored. He had his tomahawk with him and decided it would be some pretty fuckin’ good fun to chop the tree down. He dragged it back home with the intention of using it to whittle with since whittling was something of a hobby of his. Later on in life this tendency would transmogrify and blow out to a full-time penchant for carpentry–house frames, staircases – that sort of thing.

When jesus entered the living room with the pine tree in tow his whole extended family stared at him slack-jawed and dumb-founded.
“Jesus! That was one of only 7 trees… in the country which this is.”
Jesus looked on at his father but said nothing.
“Oh but wait, you’re jesus– so anything you do is okay.”
Everyone laughed and then they ate pudding.