ah man, i just caved

I couldn’t concentrate on study – and was starting to freak out about all this work I’ve got to do in the next few weeks – and it’s not as if smoking makes my life unmanageable

Damn this is humbling.
I’ll have to regather my troops at mid-semester break.

I’ve given other things up before – and I thought this’d be just the same – a bit of resolve and I’d make it. Damn damn damn.
As mumma said on the phone – I shouldn’t get down on myself if it doesn’t come off first time round.
S’pose all those grand plans of what to do with the surplus money will have to wait.

Smoking cuts life into defined segments for me. This last couple of days has felt non-stop. Going outside and watering the plants wasn’t doing it.

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