a bunch ‘o follow-ups

It’s like i’ve dichotomised myself again with uni — doing two 1st year subjects and two 2nd year. Second year stuff has gone straght for the meat n’ potatoes – but not overwhelmingly so. The social thoery tute the other day was fun.. Basically there’s no problem if i’ve done the reading for it beforehand. We had the main guy, Struan, who takes the lectures too. I don’t think he is a luddite after all, probably just anti-MS, but not being geeky enough to have found Linux. He’s a nutty (social sciences) professor. i thought it’d be a really outspoken class, being 2nd year, and in that opinionated area, but No – He asked people to volunteer to say a little on each of these aspects of ‘modernity’ (hahah- what a word: mod-dern-itty; as in “dern gumment”) and no one was speaking up. So here’s me, who’s not done first year social science … and who’d done the reading but forgot to bring the damned reader to class, having a go at it — and saying the right thing and mmm getting praise from teacher – HahaH!
Fuck I respond well to praise! That’s what it’s all about – or at least that’s what it feels like – not very ZEN i know, but that’s just me at this stage of life.
I think I’ll get a good opportunity to look at ‘The City’ as a concept in that subject, so it should be interesting.

The other 2nd year subject, ‘The End Of The World As We Know It?’, here on in referred to TEOTWAWKI, or something like that (that’s the politics one) is interesting, and chunky as far as the amount of reading goes, but is way frustrating – ’cause we’re looking at wars and how they start at the moment – but the whole thing keeps dancing around what I think is the central problem = capitalism. Pretty fun to be in a room with a bunch of folks who like to talk politics though. There seems like some interesting kids in that tute. But I just wish I knew a bit more history!
I’m not sure how ready I am to start arguing my wacky theories when so much of it is currently relying on stuff i only half remember or am kinda guessing about.

But from there it’s a fucken huge drop down to the level of Intro to communications – a first year subject. It’s crawling along in comparrison. We’re still covering stuff that I read through in O week. This isn’t helped by the fact that (at this point at least I think) my tute teacher is a bit of a twit. He’s a “liberal christian” and wasn’t backward about telling us so. This might not have been bad – but from where I’m sittin his definition of ‘liberal’ looks wholly mainstram.
The type of lecturer who can’t help side-tracking the whole thing ’cause he likes the sound of his own voice. And thne there’s this point that can be applied to the whole of the university experince, but which is most pronounced in comms studies – and that is: chicks.

Chicks “How The Hell Am I Supposed To Concentrate In The Lecture When There’s A Chick Sitting Next To Me, Sqirming Around With Her Fucking Belly-Button Showing?”
Now, I have a woman, and am very much love her. She is funny and beautiful, and on the whole, many things I am not. We get along Great.
But I am a male human animal, with this biological urge to ‘propagate the species’ and in particular with my personal flavour of genetics. This is involuntary; a monkey on back situation. If the Dalai Lama was here right now my first question would be, “How do I let go of desire?” But in all truth I don’t think there is any way to. I think it’s just part of the whole ‘being human’ deal.
This whole issue I’m talking about is one of the biggest in life for me.
Because i can identfy it when my dick is distracting me, but can’t seem to change it. I’m not talking about anything more than actually looking at these young women… but this is enough to get me annoyed at myself. I thought this kind of thing would’ve diminished as i get toward thhe latter half of my 20s.
Sometimes I try to just accept it and enjoy it as part of being alive on this flesh n’ blood plane of existance, but that doesn’t feel right either.
Most of the time I’m passed the point of unconsciously enjoying it – now it’s just a bloody distraction
But don’t worry, it’s not gonna drive me insane.

So anyway, there’s a high proportion of chicks in comm. studies. I think it’s because it’s a requirement for P.R. and Marketing – two completely ridiculous and useless areas of work if ya ask me.
And I know that these young women are people too – and they have feelings and all of the wonderful complexities of being human.. Some of them will have personalities, attitudes that i’d find agreeable, and some not.
As Show-Pen-How-Wer (don’t quote me on the spelling, he’s German for cryin’ out loud!) would tell me – the only reason why they’re mmed-riff tops and dying their hair blonde is because they’re interested in procreating too. Not neccesarily with me, but someone. AND as mentioned, my box is already ticked.
It just bugs me that this is bugs me.

Psychology is the other first year subject but due to the fact that there’s biology involved, it’s not really a bludge.

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Many of my aquaintances think I’m an idiot for leaving the laptop in the car in melbourne on a friday night. They’re probably right.

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Am having second thoughts about adding frames to the page – they look pretty boxy. There must be an easier way.

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